tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27615840233885429642024-03-21T18:00:47.265-07:00Welcoming a heartbeat to our familyInternational Surrogacy in India, Surrogacy in India, Risks of International Surrogacy, Surrogacy gone wrong, International Fertility Centre, Dr. Rita Bakshi, Complete Surrogacy Solutions, Kim Waters HendrixRhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-2922953037915572002016-06-25T14:16:00.001-07:002016-06-25T14:16:22.996-07:00Rudy Rupak Indicted. Finally. <a href="http://timesofsandiego.com/crime/2016/06/22/founder-of-medical-tourism-firm-accused-of-defrauding-infertile-clients/">One more step towards justice....</a>Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-38129580839922002562016-06-23T15:03:00.002-07:002016-06-23T15:05:20.672-07:00International Surrogacy Facilitators and Client Abuse: No end to it, apparently.<div style="text-align: justify;">
It's been a little over six months since I've updated. Despite doing everything we could to lock down our Facebook accounts, Drew and I, like many other intended parents and prospective intended parents had to delete our accounts, because the unrelenting abuse by "professionals" in the international surrogacy industry became so exhausting, we decided that it was in the best interests of our family to step away from social media. </div>
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Over the past six months, we've had the joy of seeing our daughter blossom into a precocious, vivacious and loving toddler. We've had the joy of watching Q. revel in being a big brother and seeing Miss C and Miss M bonding as only sisters can. </div>
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We've missed Johnny ever single day. As we will, for the rest of our lives. </div>
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One would think that if someone you didn't like and didn't respect had stopped blogging, you might be relieved, or silently smug, or something. But that would presume that one was a reasonable person. </div>
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On the twenty one month anniversary of Johnny's death, this arrived in my inbox: </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIjZKcL00DfKx4_2Rq9ngXLXiRcET0v7mP8nBykHOeqwNwlz7_u2vuecgz4W9vz5Fta5m97J71GJhqWvOyqV8vIxI0AhmxdXKXaciJbXb0u_M3ZXwZuP2pX3Rof-5Vd2Fj53BCC9Lrkwjp/s1600/anonwhoredom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIjZKcL00DfKx4_2Rq9ngXLXiRcET0v7mP8nBykHOeqwNwlz7_u2vuecgz4W9vz5Fta5m97J71GJhqWvOyqV8vIxI0AhmxdXKXaciJbXb0u_M3ZXwZuP2pX3Rof-5Vd2Fj53BCC9Lrkwjp/s320/anonwhoredom.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I don't know what motivates a person to leave a comment this nasty on a video where grieving parents talk about the loss of their child. I fail to see how this advances international surrogacy or lends legitimacy to the individual who left the comment. I have my suspicions about who left this comment, many people within the international surrogacy community will recognize not only the writing style, but the pattern of vitriol and abuse. </div>
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There are those in the community who talk about "doing good for all" and who try to call themselves advocates for families. There are those who talk about advocating for intended parents and surrogates. Some of these people may actually be trying to do so. However, the above does not reflect well on <b>any</b> of the professionals in this community.... the fact that this behavior is well known and continues to this day reflects poorly not only on the individual and their business, but also on those who promote and participate with this person. </div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">"Goodness is about character - integrity, honesty, kindness, generosity, moral courage, and the like. More than anything else, it is about how we treat other people." Dennis Prager</span></div>
Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-15994399479610133822016-02-26T11:28:00.000-08:002015-04-01T12:29:05.384-07:00In our own words<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-13640049566743162982015-12-15T12:21:00.000-08:002015-12-15T12:21:15.802-08:00Surrogacy in Mexico closed to foreigners and gays.http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory/mexican-state-banning-surrogacy-male-gays-foreigners-35777952Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-82519478820857108462015-11-15T00:42:00.000-08:002015-11-15T00:42:35.229-08:00Surrogacy in Cambodia: Who really takes the risks? Who really pays the price? As expected, the government of Cambodia is already moving to stop commercial surrogacy in their country:<br />
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"<a href="http://www.khmertimeskh.com/news/17745/gov---t-to-crack-down-on-surrogacy-clinics/">Meanwhile, the Cambodian government is scrambling to create new laws to stop the fast-growing surrogacy industry before it expands. Touch Channy, spokesman for the Ministry of Social Affairs, said that government ministries will discuss how to manage the growing numbers of surrogacy clinics. “The ministries need to work together to ensure that this case doesn’t happen in Cambodia,” </a><br />
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It is absolutely devastating to know that the many of the same people who ignored issues in India , then watched the fear and pain of their clients in Thailand as that country closed its doors to international surrogacy, jumped into Mexico within weeks, then began promoting surrogacy in Nepal- where they watched intended parents and their babies get stranded there simply start over in yet another country. </div>
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I wish I could believe that these companies truly cared about surrogates, babies and intended parents. However, what Sam Everingham from <a href="http://familiesthrusurrogacy.com/">Families Through Surrogacy </a>says "<span style="background-color: white; color: #555555; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;">“Many of the clinics have a business model where they take advantage of being able to take clients to a country with a legal loophole,” he said, “until it’s no longer there, and then they have to move somewhere else.” </span> about clinics is equally applicable to international surrogacy facilitators, agencies and agents. If your business model boils down to "get as many clients as you can in as fast as you can" before you get kicked out..... that does not inspire confidence in a company or an individual. </div>
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I know the desperation that is driving couples to listen when their new "BFF" agent tells them that there are some risks, but not to worry you can trust your "Auntie" and they are professionals who are experts in all areas of this yada yada yada. If any of you are reading this, please ask yourself this:</div>
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1. How can a person who does not speak the local language, is not a legal or medical professional and who has spent only a handful of days in a given location be an "expert" on something as medically, ethically and legally complicated as surrogacy? </div>
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2. Ask your facilitator what responsibility they will bear if you are directly harmed by taking their advice. If they make a grave error about the quality of medical providers they have chosen for you, who will be accountable for the results of that error? Your facilitator? No. It will be you and your very fragile and much loved baby. If you and your babies end up stranded in a country where surrogacy wasn't legal in the first place and whatever "loophole" the agency was counting on is now closed.... will they help you pay your bills while you're in country? Pay for your legal counsel? Help you keep your job while your stuck thousands of miles away from home? Do they have the concrete ability to do ANYTHING to help your family when things go pear shaped? See how far that accountability and their commitment to you the client goes when you try to get that in writing. </div>
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Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-19016045409881857182015-10-19T16:45:00.000-07:002015-10-19T16:45:10.227-07:00The Flavor of the Month - Written by DrewThe last eighteen months have been tough for international surrogacy facilitators and agents. In the wake of several high profile cases, India has continued to tighten its restrictions on surrogacy. Thailand closed its doors in 2014 although the case of <a href="http://www.npr.org/sections/parallels/2015/07/15/423188769/a-thai-surrogacy-case-with-a-6-month-old-girl-caught-in-the-middle">Baby Carmen</a> continues to highlight the danger of surrogacy in a place where the legal framework is evolving. An earthquake in Nepal didn't slow them down, but the Supreme Court in Nepal has put a <a href="http://forward.com/news/breaking-news/319859/nepal-bans-surrogate-births-worry-for-gay-israelis/">moratorium</a> on surrogacy. The news from Mexico has<a href="http://www.eggdonor.com/blog/2015/09/04/surrogacy-borders-shut/"> not been encouraging</a>. <br />
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Of all the possible locations on the planet to descend upon for surrogacy, where are the international facilitators and agencies going now?<br />
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Cambodia.<br />
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As a wise man once said, I'm not making this up.<br />
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Let's see what the US State Department (<a href="http://travel.state.gov/content/passports/en/country/cambodia.html">link</a>) has to say about traveling to Cambodia.<br />
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On Crime:<br />
"<em>Cambodia has a high crime rate, including street crime. Military weapons
and explosives are readily available to criminals despite authorities’
efforts to collect and destroy such weapons. Armed robberies occur
frequently, and foreign residents and visitors, including U.S. citizens,
are among the victims. The Embassy has also received reports that hotel
rooms of U.S. citizen visitors in Phnom Penh were burglarized while the
occupants were asleep.</em>"<br />
"<em>Local police rarely investigate reports of crime against tourists, and
travelers should not expect to recover stolen items. It has also been
reported that some police stations charge foreigners between $20 and
$100 to file a police report.</em>"<br />
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The concept of someone breaking into my hotel room while I'm sleeping is creepy to say the least, the idea of this happening in a room where my newborn infant is sleeping is horrifying. That's saying nothing about the military-grade weapons that are easily accessible.<br />
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On LGBT Rights:<br />
"<em>While there are no legal restrictions on same-sex sexual relations or
the organization of LGBT events in Cambodia, public attitudes remain
negative towards LBGT individuals, and same sex marriage is generally
not permitted. There have been no reports of arrests or violence related
to LBGT travelers</em>."<br />
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The fact that there have not been reports of arrests or violence related to LGBT travelers may seem encouraging, however the cultural climate of negativity towards the LGBT community is concerning. What is more concerning is that despite several cases of LGBT parents experiencing legal issues in non tolerant countries, that facilitators and agencies continue to bring their clients to places where their rights are not recognized and protected. <br />
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Most importantly, this is what the US State Department says on on Health:<br />
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"<em>Medical facilities and services in Cambodia do not meet international
standards. Both Phnom Penh and Siem Reap have a limited number of
internationally-run clinics and hospitals that can provide basic medical
care and stabilization. Medical care outside of these two cities is
almost non-existent. Local pharmacies provide a limited supply of
prescription and over-the-counter medications, but because the quality
of locally obtained medications can vary greatly, make sure to bring a
supply of your medications that is adequate for the duration of your
stay in Cambodia. You should be wary of purchasing local medication.
Counterfeit medication is readily available, often indiscernible from
authentic medication, and potentially lethal.</em>"<br />
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Even if we were to ignore everything else, what about the above paragraph indicates that Cambodia is a safe and appropriate place to conduct a surrogacy? By definition, surrogate pregnancies are considered high risk. The increased risk of multiple pregnancy and prematurity make access to high quality health care critical for the safety and wellbeing of babies.<br />
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Likely, if you point this out to one of the facilitators or agents currently touting Cambodia as the next great option for international surrogacy they will tell you that "their" doctors and clinics are state of the art. Given that they make thousands of dollars from IPs with absolutely zero accountability for outcomes, I suppose it's not surprising that they would minimize the risk. Disappointing, but not surprising. I mean really.... who cares what the State Department has to say as long as the facilitators "feel" good about it. <br />
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Families through Surrogacy's website has the following to say about surrogacy in Cambodia:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_lTL5LlO3Z1XrBdpw5-1in6ZNAwRu9V2JT_qrMew-85iIkWoIpiYTgLjVdYS5pZQiW2WRVeNqEE-OKUHdc2_Usl8GsgwZ0DkjR-CU7m-0WUh-oHoj6RS-kl7K69Kdoe6zozc5QZCELuEo/s1600/FTS+Cambodia.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_lTL5LlO3Z1XrBdpw5-1in6ZNAwRu9V2JT_qrMew-85iIkWoIpiYTgLjVdYS5pZQiW2WRVeNqEE-OKUHdc2_Usl8GsgwZ0DkjR-CU7m-0WUh-oHoj6RS-kl7K69Kdoe6zozc5QZCELuEo/s320/FTS+Cambodia.png" width="291" /></a></div>
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Note: The Cambodian surrogate retains parental rights under the law. While facilitators may feel comfortable minimizing the risk that this poses to intended parents, one only has to look at the current Baby Carmen case to see just how dangerous ignoring the legal rights of the surrogate is. <br />
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As always, we urge all hopeful IPs to consider the risks to everyone involved when it comes to weighing your options, no matter how desperate you may feel. As has been said here before, where your baby will be born is the first decision you will make that could have serious and/or long-lasting repercussions on your baby's health. As the first anniversary of my twins' birth and my son's death quickly approaches, I remember how we were reassured repeatedly that our surrogate was receiving the absolute best care possible, and that my twins would have access to the same level of healthcare as they would in a regional medical center in the United States. My wife and I believed what we had been told repeatedly by our facilitator, and it wasn't until we received conflicting information in the wake of the premature birth that our facilitator admitted that she wasn't a medical professional.<br />
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As a matter of fact, none of them are.<br />
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None of them are legal experts in any of the numerous countries they have churned through over the last almost two years, either. There is no possible way any of them could become legal experts on surrogacy in country after country after country. <br />
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None of them are fluent in the local language, and I find it implausible that any of them could have become experts in the local customs and cultural practices in the very limited amount of time that they spend there before declaring a program "open for business." <br />
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Yet they routinely present themselves to desperate intended parents as being experts who are able to determine whether a hospital, clinic, or even an entire country is an appropriate and safe place to bring a newborn into the world. <br />
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Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-89871502789907672462015-09-17T09:55:00.004-07:002015-09-17T09:55:54.492-07:00Perhaps my previous post was not clear.<div>
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I will not be posting comments from surrogacy professionals who abuse intended parents. Period. </div>
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Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-89128610902425951152015-09-16T10:50:00.000-07:002015-09-16T10:51:33.487-07:00Commenting on this blog is not a right. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This is my blog. <br />
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I am not obligated to post abusive, inappropriate ugly comments.<br />
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I am not obliged to justify what I do and do not post here.<br />
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I am not obliged to give anyone a platform to attack and shame intended parents for speaking out about their experiences. <br />
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I am not obliged to promote anyone's business. <br />
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It is not my responsibility to promote international surrogacy.<br />
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If as an industry professional you feel that I am a big meanie head for demanding that people who charge thousands of dollars for their services be accountable?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgA1UBXIdzawYcRK3-F8HIG0R7plKwWPvAcOaHE3w6dWb0TBDcOJLg0NaCGI5o27iKA3HgNDMgIABLFp-qNtrsikpMSQwARQ9QWfXq7Odm8e2X06bRAAPQ0k-PdrvwnsjeLy9wsrVoLKtp/s1600/Mean+hurtful+accurate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgA1UBXIdzawYcRK3-F8HIG0R7plKwWPvAcOaHE3w6dWb0TBDcOJLg0NaCGI5o27iKA3HgNDMgIABLFp-qNtrsikpMSQwARQ9QWfXq7Odm8e2X06bRAAPQ0k-PdrvwnsjeLy9wsrVoLKtp/s320/Mean+hurtful+accurate.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-10989414974698784012015-09-14T13:43:00.003-07:002015-09-14T13:46:33.421-07:00When you don't know what to say to someone who has lost their child......<div style="text-align: justify;">
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1. Don't be an ass, don't insert a but after your condolences. Try this: "I am so incredibly sorry that this happened. I just don't know what to say." </div>
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2. Do not ever say or imply that my son's death was "for the best". Period. Ever. If Johnny had lived he likely would have been neurologically devastated. Guess what? I love my children regardless of their abilities. We would have loved and treasured him regardless of his potential for accomplishment. Say this instead, "You must be devastated. Would you like to talk about it?"</div>
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3. Do not tell us that "god needed another angel". Even if the person you are speaking to is religious, telling someone who has just lost their child that somehow it's because "god" needed them more than their parents did is naive at best, and insulting at worst. Try this instead, "I'm going to be thinking about you. I wish there were more I could do."</div>
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4. Don't tell us when we should be done grieving. You don't get to tell me when I "should" do anything related to Johnny's death. Instead, say this "I know that this pain will never go away. Anytime you would like to talk about Johnny, I would love to listen." </div>
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5. Don't tell us that if you lost a child that you wouldn't be able to go on. What choice do you think I had? Mere hours after my son died, I had to get on a plane....to take care of my daughter. When I came home, did I want to crawl into bed and die myself? Yes. Was it an option? No. Because someone had to be there, not only for my living children, but for my husband. Say this instead, "I can't imagine how you must be feeling. I am so very very sorry."</div>
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6. Don't compare grief. Losing your parent, your friend, your sister, your grandmother or your beloved beagle is not the same as losing a child. (Yes, these are all examples of grief comparison that I have heard. Just say this, "There is nothing as painful as losing someone you love. I am so sorry that this happened to you." </div>
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7. Don't try to make my grief about you. You do not need to tell me how hard it is for YOU that I'm grieving. You do not need to tell me that my son's death was hard for your kids or your husband or your best friend. While you may be trying to show me that you're empathize with my feelings, all it does is put me in the position of having to comfort you. I don't have the energy for that. Try this instead, "My entire family has been thinking about you and how difficult this must be. Please know that we care about you and want to help if we can."</div>
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8. Don't be afraid to say my son's name. There isn't a moment that goes by that I am not thinking about him. Knowing that other people still think about him is a good thing. If you are thinking of Johnny say, "I was thinking about your little guy the other day, if you ever want to talk about him, I would love to listen."</div>
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9. Do not say "At least you have Maizy." Please go look at your children. Report back to me which one of them is disposable. Of course, I am grateful that I have my daughter. I am beyond grateful that I have all of my children. That does not for one second take away from my pain at losing Johnny. Say this instead, "How are the kids? Do you think they might like to go to the park? Would you like me to come by and hang out with them for a little while so that you could take a nap?"</div>
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10. Don't try to imply that I, or any other parent who has lost a child is responsible for the death of their child. Every single one of us lives with guilt and shame every day even if it is totally undeserved. We don't need any help with that. This is not the time to say, "This is why I <insert did surrogacy domestically, don't vaccinate, used xyz product, etc> If you need to congratulate yourself on what an amazing parent you are and reassure yourself that what happened to me will never happen to you- Do it on your own time. Say this instead: "I am so incredibly sorry." </div>
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Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-17333188722896457852015-09-12T11:34:00.000-07:002015-09-12T11:34:20.008-07:00Surrogacy Beyond Borders Review and ComplaintInstead of addressing the very grave concerns raised by recent reports in the Mexican media about their practices, Surrogacy Beyond Borders has unfortunately chosen to attack and defame anyone brave enough to talk about this openly. In my opinion, responsible, ethical providers have the ability to confront criticism honestly, are transparent about what mistakes were made and are committed to making concrete changes to improve. <br />
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=615030271973146&id=385820588227450&fref=nf">More response from Lily Frost- Markowitz and Surrogacy Beyond Borders </a>Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-60848722866549367472015-09-10T14:44:00.001-07:002015-09-10T14:46:16.119-07:00International Surrogacy Risks/ Danger of International Surrogacy: Eleven months. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Eleven months ago tomorrow our long awaited, much loved twins arrived. </div>
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Eleven months ago our hearts filled with joy and then shattered with sorrow.</div>
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People who we thought were our friends turned on us when they realized we were unwilling to allow them to treat the death of our son as an inconvenience to their business.</div>
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People who we mistakenly assumed would blame us for our son's death have surrounded us with love and support. </div>
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A lot has changed in the last eleven months. </div>
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Our beautiful, vivacious daughter has blossomed as the health issues related to the medical neglect of her surrogate and the consequences of her premature birth have slowly begun to resolve. She starts every morning with a smile. Her first word was "Yay!" She now says, momma, daddy-ji and didi (sister). She loves music, adores jewelry and waves to everyone we meet. </div>
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Mr. Q has flourished in his role as big brother. Having a little sister has helped him in ways that we never envisioned. </div>
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I no longer feel as alone as I did in the first few months after losing Johnny. Some incredibly wise, strong and beautiful women (I'm looking at you, JT and CR) have allowed me to rage when I needed to, cry when I needed to and have never told me to "get over" it. </div>
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Some things remain the same:</div>
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We are just as devastated by Johnny's death as we were the day he died. Perhaps even more so as the truth about his life and death has become more clear. To anyone thinking of commenting that it's time for us to "get over it", I truly hope you never have are in the position to know just how wrong you are to say this to parents who have lost a child. </div>
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We are still being threatened, harassed and defamed by people within the international surrogacy community for speaking out about the dangers that this unregulated multi-million dollar industry presents to babies, to surrogates and to intended parents.</div>
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The organization which purports itself as advocating for best practices in international surrogacy still promotes agents/agencies, facilitators and clinics with well documented and known problems. </div>
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Despite story after story of devastated intended parents, suffering surrogates and babies put in harm's way, agents and facilitators continue to promote themselves as experts in the legal and medical systems of countries they have only visited briefly. </div>
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How many babies will have to die? How many families will be left bankrupted and devastated, their dreams of a family shattered? How many surrogates will have to suffer immeasurably? When will these "surrogacy cowboys" recognize that while they may not be legally accountable for the suffering they profit from, the reality is that they are morally and ethically complicit in it continuing. </div>
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Lauren Hill said it best, "Never underestimate those who you scar, cause karma, karma comes back to you hard."</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipGzvzeuiE-Xn_Uca9e29lGx-vI6_snTSWtiaU0szfcfgFmPoOiorwxiKE_mX4IfG1LtJMikL94jHmpea-_8H4ehRJh1lVDBXw1F8N8rKR0NHu4OzVIrOaPR7Qp21zr14dEch9QYIpIXO8/s1600/right%2526wrongsm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipGzvzeuiE-Xn_Uca9e29lGx-vI6_snTSWtiaU0szfcfgFmPoOiorwxiKE_mX4IfG1LtJMikL94jHmpea-_8H4ehRJh1lVDBXw1F8N8rKR0NHu4OzVIrOaPR7Qp21zr14dEch9QYIpIXO8/s320/right%2526wrongsm.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-67844265818396140532015-09-09T15:14:00.000-07:002015-09-09T15:15:39.793-07:00Intimidation, Harassment, and threats<div style="text-align: justify;">
International surrogacy is generally presented a cost effective and safe alternative to domestic surrogacy. </div>
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One of the reasons that intended parents often buy into this myth is that when they go out to "research" it, they generally find blogs from parents who have had good experiences. Pictures of healthy babies and beaming parents are extremely reassuring to people who are about to send thousands of dollars to a clinic thousands of miles away. </div>
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What these parents do not know is that parents whose experiences did not turn out positively are routinely harassed, intimidated and threatened for sharing their stories and opinions. In the past year, I have been:</div>
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•Threatened with a lawsuit by a well known surrogacy facilitator for even implying that her behavior was less than professional. This despite the fact that my assertion was clearly labeled as my opinion and that it linked to a press release that SHE published. (She has also repeatedly tried to tell people that this press release went out on the AP wire, which would imply some sort of vetting. This is not accurate. The press release is clearly on a public relations website.</div>
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•Threatened with lawsuits for sharing the reality of our experience in India and my opinion about it.</div>
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•Had my family's private medical information (and not all of the information shared was accurate) in an attempt to discredit my concerns about the care my son received in India.</div>
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•I've been called horrible names, been told that I deserved to lose a child, had my mental health questioned, been attacked in both public and private forums more times than I can even count. </div>
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•Despite me publishing my daughter's medical records substantiating the fact that the very serious health issues she faced after coming home to the US were caused by chlamydia and serious nutritional deficiencies in her surrogate, I have been called a liar.</div>
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Standing up to this kind of harassment while attempting to grieve for my son and care for my surviving children has been draining and extremely painful. I understand why so many people take down their blogs and walk away from this community. </div>
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Talking about how John Patrick Hayden died will not bring him back. However, while I could not prevent my son from being disposed of like garbage, I will not allow him to be forgotten. If sharing his story means even one family is prevented from suffering the horror that we have, then I feel like we've made the right decision. </div>
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<br />Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-31877515968402882182015-09-08T13:43:00.000-07:002015-09-08T13:44:04.040-07:00Surrogacy in Mexico Resource<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://blurblawg.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54f871a9c883301a73df8aea3970d-320wi" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://blurblawg.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54f871a9c883301a73df8aea3970d-320wi" /></a></div>
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One of the few unbiased sources on the state of surrogacy in Mexico can be found on Facebook. This page is managed by the only person I know of who talks about surrogacy in Mexico, but who does not make money off of doing so. A few of her recent blog posts include discussions on: </div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=612521782223995&id=385820588227450">Surrogacy Beyond Borders article</a></div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=612518042224369&id=385820588227450">Additional article on Surrogacy Beyond Borders </a></div>
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The articles include information on how Mexican law has been violated (commercial surrogacy in Mexico is NOT legal no matter how many times people try to play semantic games like "recatagorizing income"), allegations of surrogate mistreatment and bribery. </div>
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This page has extensive information for intended parents regarding the evolving situation in Mexico. </div>
Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-72741293792304041562015-08-27T08:44:00.000-07:002015-08-27T08:44:38.741-07:00Nepal calls a halt<a href="http://zeenews.india.com/news/south-asia/nepals-top-court-orders-suspension-of-surrogacy-services_1653410.html">Nepal calls a halt to commercial surrogacy....</a><br />
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This is why it is so critical to make sure that the country you are doing surrogacy in has an actual law which allows commercial surrogacy. Doing surrogacy in a country where it is "alegal" or depending on "loopholes" and playing semantics with the law is incredibly dangerous for intended parents and their children. The middlemen who continually encourage IPs to take these incredible risks do so for one reason and one reason only- profit. Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-19475837213144553042015-06-10T19:27:00.001-07:002015-06-10T19:34:54.399-07:00"Everything is fine"<a href="http://www.worldcrunch.com/culture-society/surrogate-mother-industry-carries-on-after-nepal-quake-/surrogacy-fertilization-modernity-poverty-trafficking/c3s18992/#.VXjw00Z8NKh">http://www.worldcrunch.com/culture-society/surrogate-mother-industry-carries-on-after-nepal-quake-/surrogacy-fertilization-modernity-poverty-trafficking/c3s18992/#.VXjw00Z8NKh</a>Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-66587015811616429622015-05-08T11:20:00.001-07:002015-05-08T11:35:07.268-07:00100th Post<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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When this blog was started, I was full of hope. I was totally confident that I had found not just a good facilitator, but a friend, in Kim Waters Hendrix of <a href="http://auntthroughindiansurrogacy.blogspot.com/">Complete Surrogacy Solutions</a>. I believed that <a href="https://www.facebook.com/InternationalFertilityCentreNewDelhi">International Fertility Centre</a> was a clinic that I could trust not only with the lives of my children, but with the life of my surrogate. I imagined a 100th blog entry which showed our joyful family, complete at last. </div>
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Mother's Day is approaching quickly and I wish I could say that I was excited. I am happy to celebrate the relationship I have with my beautiful children. At the same time, I can't forget the fact that Johnny never got to feel his mother's arms around him. He never got to hear me say, "I love you." I never got to tell him how very much he was wanted and loved. </div>
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While I know that Mother's Day will always be a painful and complicated day for me, I am profoundly grateful to the many people who have helped me get through the last six months. I can honestly say I don't know how I would have managed without you. </div>
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•Zachary, Alexander, Clarity, Quinn and Maizy, you have made me the person I am and give me a thousand reasons to get out of bed each day. </div>
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•The US surrogacy community on Facebook has been an incredible source of support and strength. Initially, I was very afraid of speaking out about our experience. I was terrified that people would say that we deserved what happened to Johnny because we chose an international journey. Instead, our family has been embraced with open arms and surrounded with support and love. I cannot describe how grateful I am for that compassion and understanding. </div>
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•Stephanie and Jennifer, you have listened to me rage and comforted me when I was almost incapacitated with grief. I wish that the thing that brought us together had never happened to any of us. However, I could not ask for stronger or more compassionate women to walk this difficult path with me.</div>
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•To Mrs. S., wherever you are, I am celebrating with my daughter this year because of you. </div>
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•To all the IPs who could have stayed silent and allowed our family to be attacked and slandered, thank you for your courage, your integrity and your compassion. It has meant the world. </div>
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<br />Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-9229551061664860892015-04-25T14:16:00.001-07:002015-04-25T14:23:15.712-07:00Surrogacy in Nepal: International Surrogacy Disaster<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://images1.ynet.co.il/PicServer4/2015/04/25/6010000/6009999099099640360no.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://images1.ynet.co.il/PicServer4/2015/04/25/6010000/6009999099099640360no.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">One of the families currently stranded in Nepal with their newborns</span></div>
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Today our thoughts and prayers are with the surrogates, babies and intended parents who have been impacted by the terrible <a href="http://www.ibtimes.co.in/breaking-7-4-magnitude-earthquake-rocks-delhi-north-east-630355">earthquake in Nepal</a>. There are reports of several Israeli <a href="http://www.timesofisrael.com/israeli-parents-newborns-stranded-by-nepal-earthquake/">families with premature babies</a> who are trying to get out of the country. I can only imagine how scared and worried they are as they try to keep their fragile babies safe.</div>
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One of the primary reservations I had when people first began touting Nepal as the next location for international surrogacy was the fragility of infrastructure in the country. For years experts have been warning about the danger to the area from earthquake, especially given that <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/26/world/asia/nepal-earthquake-katmandu.html?_r=0">in recent years construction has been largely unregulated</a>. Even prior to the quake, Nepal's medical infrastructure was fragile, not a single hospital in the country was accredited by the <a href="http://www.jointcommissioninternational.org/">International Joint Commission on patient safety</a>. Now those facilities are <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/nepal/11562782/Nepal-earthquake-live.html">overcrowded and running short on emergency supplies, and morgues are running out of space. BIR hospital is reported to be treating people in the streets.</a></div>
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Hours after the quake, the death toll is already above 1500. However, surviving the initial quake and its aftershocks is only the first hurdle that must be overcome. The country is highly dependent on hydroelectric power plants, it's not yet clear what damage they have sustained. Interruptions to the power grid are not unusual in Katmandu, so many people and businesses have generators, however, given the significant <a href="https://youtu.be/xjDgJhTzqS4">damage</a> to roads moving fuel to where it is needed is going to be very difficult. </div>
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I doubt that fertility clinics are going to be given first priority for allocation of what is likely going to be a scarce commodity. This could have grave consequences not only for surrogates in housing, but for the thousands of embryos imported there in recent months. </div>
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Cholera is a regular problem in Nepal, one which could easily become epidemic given the difficulty in maintaining clean water and adequate sanitation after a disaster of this magnitude. </div>
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When people advertise they are experts at surrogacy in a third world country the implication they are giving to intended parents is that they are prepared for the worst. Unfortunately, as has been seen repeatedly, many of the so called "experts" are little more than expensive glorified travel agents with little to know understanding of the challenges that may be faced even under the best of conditions. I have zero faith have the ability to truly help intended parents under conditions like these. </div>
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<br />Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-77907247318365595792015-04-16T13:54:00.000-07:002015-04-16T16:03:44.270-07:00Dr. Rita Bakshi/ Complete Surrogacy Solutions: Ashes to Ashes<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
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GUEST POST by Jennifer Matusiak</div>
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I wish I could say I'm happy that Drew
and Rhy asked me to write this post. I'm happy that there's some
small part of this tragedy that I can take on for them but I don't
think anyone could be anything but horrified at the subject.</div>
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It's recently come to light that the
ashes Bakshi presented to Rhy as belonging to Johnny, ashes for which
Bakshi demanded additional payment, may not have been Johnny's at
all. In fact, they are, in all likelihood, wood ashes.</div>
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I realize this is a bold, and
terrifying, statement. The idea that someone could be so heartless
as to lie to a grieving mother about the ashes of her child is beyond
the comprehension of most of us. So far beyond that I bet some of
you reading this will not only question my sanity, but the science.</div>
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A lot of things can be debated, but
scientific facts aren't one of them.</div>
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<b> Fact:</b> <i>After cremation (open-air or
electric) the ashes and pieces of bone are pulverized to a </i><i>fine powder. This occurs both in the
United States and in India.</i></div>
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I'm not sure why the authenticity of
Johnny's ashes came into question and, ultimately, it doesn't really
matter. Upon inspection of the ashes there are, quite obviously,
small bits of wood mixed in with the ash.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYjXuEnWcuWptcSK7lxcMixKjpIQ18P7kVe8Un2ZRaTBNtjE71F3HlD4NQ3Aq4JJFBXsxEiWyWbPzrCixrDne-DygCsITCjtr7AnW3uhdg2gMqgaV922tAzkl-fjiGYkVi3WaIJ_pQCA9W/s1600/11129684_1825374141021156_213107733_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYjXuEnWcuWptcSK7lxcMixKjpIQ18P7kVe8Un2ZRaTBNtjE71F3HlD4NQ3Aq4JJFBXsxEiWyWbPzrCixrDne-DygCsITCjtr7AnW3uhdg2gMqgaV922tAzkl-fjiGYkVi3WaIJ_pQCA9W/s1600/11129684_1825374141021156_213107733_n.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<b> Fact:</b> <i>In order for wood to be
completely turned to ash, it needs to be held at temperatures </i><i>between 1100-1500 degrees Fahrenheit
for 2-4 seconds.</i></div>
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<b> Fact:</b><i> In order to be reduced to "ash" (with some bits of bone) a human body must be held at </i><i>temperatures between 1400-1800 degrees
Fahrenheit for 2-3 hours. These temps and times are </i><i>standard for electric cremation
chambers.</i></div>
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Knowing these facts, how could Johnny's
ashes contain bits of wood (large enough to see with the naked eye)
if he was, in fact, cremated in an electric crematory as Bakshi
claims?
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Answer: <b>They can't.</b></div>
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Aside from the fact that wood isn't
used in an electric crematory (so how could it be in Johnny's ashes?)
it only takes 2-4 seconds to reduce wood to ash. It would have
taken far longer to cremate Johnny's body, as tiny as it was, even
accounting for the small overlap in necessary temperatures. So, had
there for SOME reason been wood in the chamber, it would have been
ashed.</div>
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There is no possible way for there to
be identifiable pieces of wood in human ashes.</div>
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The unfortunate and horrible conclusion
I was forced to make and present to Rhy was that the ashes she paid
for could not possibly have been Johnny's. They can't be human,
even.
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THIS is what cremains should look like.
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQn_xDHOYboVLP_X0q5SsHlydedDTghZ4rXjLilTn9lm5ADq8UUBp-s6p8qpABVWc02F69Ohe7nB6gjG5mOxLTK0OgzhnpK9w5z-pMl9NyzeUutFxnl_LU-1jmgGUrj-ktRRN7CPa2Qx59/s1600/cremains.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQn_xDHOYboVLP_X0q5SsHlydedDTghZ4rXjLilTn9lm5ADq8UUBp-s6p8qpABVWc02F69Ohe7nB6gjG5mOxLTK0OgzhnpK9w5z-pMl9NyzeUutFxnl_LU-1jmgGUrj-ktRRN7CPa2Qx59/s1600/cremains.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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A fine sandy texture as opposed to a
powder. This is because cremains aren't ashes, as such. The ashes presented as Johnny's are, quite obviously, just that. Wood ash.</div>
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Given the circumstances surrounding the
entire issue (which Rhy has discussed previously) my conclusion is
that Bakshi disposed of Johnny's body (either in the river, in the
trash or “donated” to medical students for dissection) as she saw
fit, without asking his parents what they preferred. Then, when
they requested some small token of remembrance from their son (a lock
of hair, a footprint) she realized her stupidity. After expressing
their desire to have their son cremated she likely seized that
opportunity to hide her idiocy, presenting ashes from a wood fire to
Rhy and claiming they belonged to her son.</div>
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Unethical. Deceitful. Reprehensible.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09564014611468806916noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-3408961650601553682015-04-01T11:47:00.004-07:002015-04-01T12:29:16.693-07:00Kim Waters Hendrix and the truth?<br />
<br />
http://welcomingaheartbeattruthfully.blogspot.com<br />
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No posts yet, but we'll see how this next layer of harassment and abuse unfolds. </div>
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For the record, I have zero issue with someone who has a different experience with Kim sharing that. They have just as much right to be heard as I do. However, I think it's shady as hell to use a blog name designed to promote confusion and giving the impression that they know the truth about our situation? Not okay. Using a fake google profile to conceal your identity? Not real professional. </div>
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Given the amount of our private and personal information, Kim has already shared about us I'm not sure what "truth" she'd like to reveal. Perhaps she'd like to share the real reason that she and Dr. Bakshi did not use the mortuary that the American Consulate recommended? </div>
Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-23379418908276992862015-03-31T08:27:00.000-07:002015-03-31T10:26:32.913-07:00Families Through Surrogacy: Consumer Advocacy Group or Trade Show?<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="http://familiesthrusurrogacy.com/about-us">"Families Through Surrogacy is a consumer-based non-profit organization focused on bringing together surrogates, intended parents and families through surrogacy to network, share their stories and stay informed about best practices in surrogacy arrangements"</a> <br />
<br />
In March 2014, I spoke at the West Coast <a href="http://www.familiesthrusurrogacy.com/">Families Through Surrogacy Conference</a> held in San Francisco, California. I was also a member of the conference committee from the fall of 2013 to the summer of 2014. </div>
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I was very excited when I first joined the FTS conference committee . I felt honored to be part of a group that promoted transparency, ethics and best practices in international surrogacy. It wasn't very long though before I began questioning how the conference's policy on sponsorship could be reconciled with its mission statement. </div>
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While I understand the financial reality of doing conferences around the world, I am disheartened by the way the financial need for sponsorship appears to be overshadowing FTS's stated mission. When I was on the committee one of the very difficult conversations we had regarded a set of sponsors who had ties to a medical tourism company currently under FBI investigation. When I expressed concern about promoting players with a history that was at the least problematic, Sam responded with something along the lines of "Well they are being investigated, but they aren't indicted yet."</div>
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Surely there is a better measure of best practices than "Not yet indicted." Allowing people with long histories of questionable behavior the opportunity to promote themselves at Families through Surrogacy conferences not only makes vulnerable IPs a captive audience to providers with known issues, it undermines the credibility that the conference has with the wider surrogacy community. Whether the committee realizes it or not, allowing someone to present at the conference is an endorsement of their services. </div>
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Unfortunately, the conference has been used by more than one provider in this manner. Speaking at the conference legitimizes providers, allowing them to present themselves as recognized "authorities" when that is often not be the reality. It grants them a veneer of respectability and allows them them not only a captive audience, but they can later refer to their "speaking engagement" as a way to recruit new clients. </div>
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The year I spoke at the West Coast Families through Surrogacy conference <a href="http://auntthroughindiansurrogacy.blogspot.com/">Kim Waters Hendrix</a> of <a href="http://www.completesurrogacysolutions.com/">Complete Surrogacy Solutions</a> also spoke. It was very clear the conference was used as a platform to promote her business. This pattern was repeated later that same year in Australia, where many people complained of Kim's "grandstanding." Kim used the forum not only to promote her own services, but also to denigrate her competitors. </div>
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Last year, Megan Sainsbury was "banned" from the Families through Surrogacy conference in Australia. This year, Kim Hendrix is banned while Megan is attending under the umbrella of the clinic she promotes in Mexico. What changed during this time? To my knowledge, no one from Families Through Surrogacy has explained why Kim went from being actively promoted to being banned and what Meg did that resolved the issues that caused her to not be allowed at the conference one year and then allowed to return the next. </div>
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At the very least, if a concern is brought to a provider, and it's serious enough to warrant not allowing them to attend the conference, and then they take the time and energy to resolve those issues so that you feel comfortable bringing them back, it seems like it would be in everyone's best interest to give them credit for making those changes. </div>
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If the conference wants to grant sponsorships to anyone willing to pay the fee, in much the same way that vendors at a trade show are selected, that is clearly their prerogative. However, it's my opinion that if you want to maintain credibility as a non profit IP focused advocacy group, "not yet indicted" and "not popular at this time" is an incredibly low standard for professional participants.</div>
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When Families through Surrogacy allows agents to abuse intended parents publicly and says nothing? They are giving their tacit approval of the behavior. They are in fact contributing to the climate of fear and intimidation that permeates the international surrogacy community. When Families through Surrogacy is not transparent about how they choose sponsors, they are not modeling the transparency that intended parents should expect from ALL parties who work in this field. </div>
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I know that I am not the first person, nor am I likely to be the last, to bring these issues to their attention.</div>
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Consumer driven advocacy groups have a responsibility to advocate. If they do not want to take on that responsibility then truth in advertising demands that they notify attendees that they are a trade group for agents and clinics. This would all them to continue to provide information to consumers, but would give those intended parents the proper context for that information. </div>
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If you aren't part of the solution, you're part of the problem. </div>
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Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-68536272110104620382015-03-30T18:37:00.001-07:002015-03-30T20:51:29.422-07:00Is this professional behavior? - by Drew<div style="text-align: justify;">
While we have always named specific people who have exhibited behavior with which we have grave concerns, it could still be possible that someone could read our blog and believe that we are against international surrogacy, and that it should be shut down. This is not true. Despite Johnny's death and what has transpired subsequently, without international surrogacy we would not have the delight that is our daughter. However, we are disappointed by the sheer number of people in the international surrogacy community who seem committed to behaving in unprofessional and/or questionable ways. </div>
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The most recent example of this:</div>
<br />
Last night, I received this Facebook message from <a href="http://members.calbar.ca.gov/fal/Member/Detail/216384">Catherine Moscarello</a>, of IP Conceptions. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6QNi_-5mfS_5Ex2LF1ISKR5RItC-fzlpoY7xKy7ZS9Zv_KWSMIrkdX9MNiBQqUk8o3op2vAnrodiFg06AEQnqtyM4MfixSCqXQyDsBheQ1lZhFDyjhOu1FG_nDGWMA6seAW3Ricue_4ew/s1600/CrazyPreamble.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6QNi_-5mfS_5Ex2LF1ISKR5RItC-fzlpoY7xKy7ZS9Zv_KWSMIrkdX9MNiBQqUk8o3op2vAnrodiFg06AEQnqtyM4MfixSCqXQyDsBheQ1lZhFDyjhOu1FG_nDGWMA6seAW3Ricue_4ew/s1600/CrazyPreamble.jpg" height="190" width="320" /></a></div>
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To put it (very) briefly, Ms Moscarello started out as a <a href="http://www.planethospital.com/">Planet Hospital</a> employee. Catherine and her husband seem to be the only ones to who materially benefited from its implosion. While the rest of us lost thousands of dollars, Catherine Moscarello awalked away with a set of embryos and the entire Planet Hospital client file. Catherine then launched <a href="http://www.ipconceptions.com/">IP Conceptions</a>, her own surrogacy facilitation business in Mexico. In the beginning, Catherine consulted frequently with us as to our opinions on best practices, transparency, etc. We wanted to believe that she had good intentions. However, when she began make decisions that appeared to put her interests above those of IPs who had lost tens of thousands of dollars to <a href="http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-07-08/would-be-parents-fleeced-by-mexican-surrogacy-operation/5572262">Planet Hospital</a>, we spoke up. On good days, she ignored the concerns we and others shared with her. On other days, we and several other former Planet Hospital clients were viciously attacked.</div>
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Ultimately, we decided there was no point continuing to engage with her, so we severed contact with her and considered the matter closed. </div>
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Putting aside the hubris that makes her think that we are required to publish any comment she were to write, let me point out that we have not "attacked" Megan Sainsbury. While we have expressed disappointment at Meg's behavior towards friends of ours, we haven't made any posts that address her or her business. I have no idea what comment Catherine is going on about. Please keep this in mind as you read the conversation between Catherine and I.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrauFE2_NouYIDqyh4qFPpIIyY6WLImiwYda55CeM7R7dbSJfPdNyznIL-ZKok-hiHkr-_mnSpuur60m74guc28fN8lV4zeTUDGqXugCdRR3fUu1Q9W1KdzCLFYjZ1RoyloVOozZZTxzZ7/s1600/CrazyCatherine01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrauFE2_NouYIDqyh4qFPpIIyY6WLImiwYda55CeM7R7dbSJfPdNyznIL-ZKok-hiHkr-_mnSpuur60m74guc28fN8lV4zeTUDGqXugCdRR3fUu1Q9W1KdzCLFYjZ1RoyloVOozZZTxzZ7/s1600/CrazyCatherine01.jpg" height="71" width="320" /></a></div>
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The following is the screencap she linked me to:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpa-teNk3aXgsbxX2pbVNxW2ZejQmswrMw60fWG4T-vATjJFTn7rrBbipUGeKgCzfV118jSmqj_UQFgvdNMgD5lG4fjoezqH6LDqkmglyxj3hDsmOPv0weK-HnRpiVS8yDYw9CHcQY-WjO/s1600/Jennifer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpa-teNk3aXgsbxX2pbVNxW2ZejQmswrMw60fWG4T-vATjJFTn7rrBbipUGeKgCzfV118jSmqj_UQFgvdNMgD5lG4fjoezqH6LDqkmglyxj3hDsmOPv0weK-HnRpiVS8yDYw9CHcQY-WjO/s1600/Jennifer.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></div>
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And now these are my screencaps of the rest of our conversation:</div>
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Ms. Moscarello is correct that we have put things out there publicly. If she would like to refute those things or address them, it's my understanding she has her own social media accounts that she can use to do so. My wife has blocked Catherine on her telephone, on email, on Facebook, has put her on ignore on BabyCenter and has repeatedly asked her to not contact us. Despite that, Ms. Moscarello appears to believe she has the right to continue a barrage of unwanted and harassing contact. This does not seem like professional behavior. </div>
Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-36679226578752594402015-03-28T19:04:00.001-07:002015-03-28T19:04:10.361-07:00<a href="http://www.eggdonor.com/blog/2015/03/25/donor-agencies-face-restrictions-handling-client-trust-funds/">Surrogacy Facilitators and Donor Agencies in California.....</a>Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-15384653704462046582015-03-18T22:39:00.000-07:002015-03-18T22:39:57.310-07:00Written by Drew - You know what they say about birds of a feather...<div style="text-align: left;">
Sharing confidential information with other people is unethical and unprofessional. We will not address the many false statements in these emails because there are just too many to count. However, this sharing of information and bullying is not appropriate. We have redacted the client names to protect their confidentiality.</div>
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Upon seeing these messages, we decided to reach out to Carrie and respectfully request that she not engage in discussing our case anymore. Enough people had already been made privy to our private information.</div>
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This was the answer we received.</div>
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Our response to her threatening us:</div>
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Her final message to us.</div>
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It would have been perfectly acceptable for Kim to ask the people who have had positive experiences with her to share them. She did NOT need to discuss us....at all.</div>
Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-18763494022016303322015-03-14T22:56:00.001-07:002015-03-14T22:56:58.416-07:00<div style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 10px;">
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Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2761584023388542964.post-80341091750134134472015-03-12T16:54:00.000-07:002015-03-12T16:54:55.674-07:00Kim Waters Hendrix & Complete Surrogacy Solutions Review and Complaint: Client Confidentiality<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2761584023388542964" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">As I’ve written before, client confidentiality is a fundamental part of any professional surrogacy agency, facilitator, etc… </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Surrogacy facilitators have access to financial information, medical information and are frequently given significant amounts of personal information by their clients. </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There were many times during my relationship with Kim where she shared information with me, that in retrospect was inappropriate.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I should not know about the couple who had to terminate their much wanted pregnancy at 13 weeks due to fetal abnormality, nor should I know anything about the sperm quality of several of my Facebook friends. </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #7f553c; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 31.200000762939453px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span>
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #7f553c; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 31.200000762939453px; text-align: justify;">That’s why when I found out that Kim was sharing my information with other people I wasn’t surprised. Hurt, yes. Surprised? No. One of the first people to let me know that this was going on was Paul McDavy. Frankly, if he had been the only one and it had been an isolated issue, I probably would not be writing this post today. </span><br />
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Posting information (and inaccurate information at that) about our struggle to get records on my Facebook wall? Not appropriate. Sharing even more information with a prospective client? Not professional. </div>
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I confronted her about this in January:</div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #7f553c; font-family: 'Droid Serif'; font-size: 20px; line-height: 31.200000762939453px; text-align: justify;">One would have thought that this would have ended the matter. However, it's very clear now that this pattern- which was going on throughout our pregnancy and after our son died has continued.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrzIuB6uE903fxjldZwxoj5EZMCIv0wKRpUx_0O1d4TX3SU3xy9EmDFwH8o8smHn0ET4mPrVDoFEeWigr_F9udJFViqZMvDCS1C_0uFlJOVfXJ3s51-H9vb4UISxdFu0Bf5JkjcQzixDyr/s1600/Kim+didn't%2Bwant%2Bto%2Bcross%2Bconfidentiality.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrzIuB6uE903fxjldZwxoj5EZMCIv0wKRpUx_0O1d4TX3SU3xy9EmDFwH8o8smHn0ET4mPrVDoFEeWigr_F9udJFViqZMvDCS1C_0uFlJOVfXJ3s51-H9vb4UISxdFu0Bf5JkjcQzixDyr/s1600/Kim+didn't%2Bwant%2Bto%2Bcross%2Bconfidentiality.jpg" height="316" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; color: #7f553c; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 20px; line-height: 31.200000762939453px;">She admits that she knew John wasn't well, although she and Bakshi repeatedly assured Drew and I that no oxygen deprivation had taken place. Additionally, she fails to share that while she offered to go to Delhi it was with the understanding that Drew and I were footing the bill. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBRHouA_4mYQ6qVifIgtddD4WCz-k4gdSnrFYaMSGDowjzOpc3JALgmtUJV23EdQCMsb5XPTMzMUIP2UjYDv9XelsYCLb-8EehCyux8UG6fa8Y96lbaKuGdrxtUGMP7I3Kp9fd1W0nVAeD/s1600/kim++says+again+we+shot+her+down+on+going+.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBRHouA_4mYQ6qVifIgtddD4WCz-k4gdSnrFYaMSGDowjzOpc3JALgmtUJV23EdQCMsb5XPTMzMUIP2UjYDv9XelsYCLb-8EehCyux8UG6fa8Y96lbaKuGdrxtUGMP7I3Kp9fd1W0nVAeD/s1600/kim++says+again+we+shot+her+down+on+going+.jpg" height="107" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; color: #7f553c; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 20px; line-height: 31.200000762939453px;">Sharing details of our financial situation is not appropriate. Additionally, we were being told that Adiva was a good hospital, there was no oxygen deprivation and no reason to move him unless we wanted to do so for the sake of doing it. Given the information we had at time we made the decision to leave John where he was until I got there. Had we been told that Adiva was not qualified to care for him, we would have moved him, regardless of cost.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIAY9ysvghHBAKfn0L4qq9vK1dZLOjheu1Vg3UBTUzKoOm3sKpeLFC80zeFnGwhjx1V-_vb0_cs2f2jUhgkNZN8gnC5e7iLWPxLFHaqgYZpiQOwZXvgiiGpXU7-bLJB5_R6tSMq6L1l-rA/s1600/Kim+reimbursment+from+hospital+.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIAY9ysvghHBAKfn0L4qq9vK1dZLOjheu1Vg3UBTUzKoOm3sKpeLFC80zeFnGwhjx1V-_vb0_cs2f2jUhgkNZN8gnC5e7iLWPxLFHaqgYZpiQOwZXvgiiGpXU7-bLJB5_R6tSMq6L1l-rA/s1600/Kim+reimbursment+from+hospital+.jpg" height="204" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; color: #7f553c; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 20px; line-height: 31.200000762939453px;">Kim had absolutely no right to share the ongoing issues we were having in terms of getting the records or my other concerns. </span></div>
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=2761584023388542964" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrAUxGi4_nia6LNGwzGFYG4DZj9niWArk1zybzCqFacCrNrjfdF-kdXHMR1ntS-WFN8WnbWYEkVRN17r0Wc8ZhdPSuZhpbtY4AaUUjBICFHJPt5Q6r99z9H9Z8YnIfwxvFdvM0kMCSMLpg/s1600/Kim+chromsome.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrAUxGi4_nia6LNGwzGFYG4DZj9niWArk1zybzCqFacCrNrjfdF-kdXHMR1ntS-WFN8WnbWYEkVRN17r0Wc8ZhdPSuZhpbtY4AaUUjBICFHJPt5Q6r99z9H9Z8YnIfwxvFdvM0kMCSMLpg/s1600/Kim+chromsome.jpg" height="137" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; color: #7f553c; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 20px; line-height: 31.200000762939453px;">John died of HIE and Klebsiella pneumonia. HIE is not genetic, nor is pneumonia. </span><a href="http://www.birthinjuryguide.org/birth-injury/types/hypoxic-ischemic-encephalopathy-hie/" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); color: #fbb41a; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 20px; line-height: 31.200000762939453px; text-decoration: none;">HIE</a><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; color: #7f553c; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 20px; line-height: 31.200000762939453px;"> is caused by oxygen deprivation at birth. Secondly, the genetic issue that our six year old has is not carried on the Y chromosome, it's maternally inherited...which is why we used an egg donor. Lastly, it is absolutely unfathomable that any person calling themselves a professional would feel this kind of disclosure is appropriate. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #7f553c; font-family: 'Droid Serif'; font-size: 20px; line-height: 31.200000762939453px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">I am also aware that Kim has also emailed clients, sharing her version of our tragedy and requesting that </span>those clients give her positive reviews. </span></span><span style="color: #7f553c; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 20px; line-height: 31.200000762939453px;">The fact that she has recruited other "professionals" not involved with our case to help her do this is even more disturbing. </span><span style="color: #7f553c; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 20px; line-height: 31.200000762939453px;"> While it's certainly her right to ask people for testimonials, the fact that she is continuing to share our personal, private information, despite our repeated requests that she not do so is disgusting. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #7f553c; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 31.200000762939453px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span>Rhyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14778458077954683011noreply@blogger.com2