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Monday, March 30, 2015

Is this professional behavior? - by Drew

While we have always named specific people who have exhibited behavior with which we have grave concerns, it could still be possible that someone could read our blog and believe that we are against international surrogacy, and that it should be shut down.  This is not true.   Despite Johnny's death and what has transpired subsequently, without international surrogacy we would not have the delight that is our daughter.  However, we are disappointed by the sheer number of people in the international surrogacy community who seem committed to behaving in  unprofessional and/or questionable ways.

The most recent example of this:

Last night, I received this Facebook message from Catherine Moscarello, of IP Conceptions.


To put it (very) briefly, Ms Moscarello started out as a Planet Hospital employee.  Catherine and her husband seem to be the only ones to who materially benefited from its implosion.    While the rest of us lost thousands of dollars, Catherine Moscarello awalked away with a set of embryos and the entire Planet Hospital client file.  Catherine then launched IP Conceptions,  her own surrogacy facilitation business in Mexico.  In the beginning,  Catherine  consulted frequently with us as to our opinions on best practices, transparency, etc.   We wanted to believe that she had good intentions.  However,  when she began make decisions that appeared to put her interests above those of IPs  who had lost tens of thousands of dollars to Planet Hospital,  we spoke up.    On good days, she ignored the concerns we and others shared with her.  On other days, we and several other former Planet Hospital clients were viciously attacked.

Ultimately, we decided  there was no point continuing to engage with her, so we severed contact with her and considered the matter closed.

Putting aside the hubris that makes her think that we are required to publish any comment she were to write, let me point out that we have not "attacked" Megan Sainsbury.  While we have expressed disappointment at Meg's behavior towards friends of ours, we haven't made any posts that address her or her business.   I have no idea what comment Catherine is going on about.  Please keep this in mind as you read the conversation between Catherine and I.



The following is the screencap she linked me to:

 
 
And now these are my screencaps of the rest of our conversation:










Ms. Moscarello is correct that we have put things out there publicly.  If she would like to refute those things or address them, it's my understanding she has her own social media accounts that she can use to do so.  My wife has blocked Catherine on her telephone, on email,  on Facebook, has put her on ignore on BabyCenter and has repeatedly asked her to not contact us.   Despite that,  Ms. Moscarello  appears to believe she has the right to continue a barrage of unwanted and harassing contact. This does not seem like professional behavior.

23 comments:

  1. In case anyone is wondering, I'm fully aware that Drew requested (and Catherine shared) a screenshot of my request to her. Rhy and Drew have blanket permission to share anything I write with you, their readers. Why? Because I, unlike many who post to this blog anonymously, have nothing to hide. I also fully support my friends and stand behind their actions. I sincerely doubt many of the anonymous posters could say the same thing about their, and their "friends" own words and deeds.

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    1. One of the things that has kept Drew and I going throughout the last three years has been the unwavering support of our friends. I appreciate you so much, not only for being willing to stand by us, but also for the hours and hours you have spent listening. I hope that you always know how much that means to our family.

      While Catherine may make oddly awkward statements about "loving" me, I know that you really do. Thank you again for being you.

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  2. wow, do you people get on with anyone? Must be great to be so right and everyone else is so wrong. You pair do your son's memory no justice.

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    1. I find it fascinating that someone who needs to hide behind an anonymous comment feels qualified to judge the quality of our relationships. It's sick and sad that you would try to shame us into silence by using our son's memory as an excuse to be ugly. Unfortuantely, it's no longer surprising and it's not going to work.

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    2. Anonymous- Since you can write I will assume you're capable of reading. Given this information I'm forced to conclude that your inability to correctly interpret any of the multitude of replies supporting Rhy and Drew throughout their blog (my own reply is directly above yours. But perhaps you missed that in your haste to hide behind a mask of anonymity.) is a result of repeated blows to the head. As "reading for comprehension" is essential to any productive professional discussion, perhaps you should see a doctor? But not Bakshi. We wouldn't want any brain injury you might have to be ignored in favor of a greater profit margin, would we?

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    3. Jomjitre ZimmermanMarch 31, 2015 at 8:34 AM

      How dare you talk about Johnny like you know him, Anon. Rhy and Drew are loving parents, and you obviously know nothing about them.

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    4. If this person truly cared about doing justice to Johnny's memory, they would be advocating for professional standards for surrogacy middlemen, a requirement for professional liability insurance, and they would be working towards standards which protect the most vulnerable people in the surrogacy triad- the surrogates and the babies. As it stands, this person, and the others like them, simply want us to shut up.

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    5. I will have you know, Anony-mouse, that its OK for you to have your opinion. Like an asshole, everybody should have one. Also like an asshole, only the really good ones can actually be seen in public. Also like an asshole, if your opinion stinks, people will wipe it For You, and fluff the wipes in your face.

      Good Gawd, have you no heart? Johnny is a happy fella, but don't take my word for it, just notice one day when you have waves and waves of solid heart-ache, tears and sorrow flow through you, for no reason in this god-given earth, then you will know that Johnny has visited you. He may or may not make you laugh afterwards, that is at his discretion, but he is strong, and he is HAPPY, unlike you clearly.

      The people that Rhy and Drew are exposing are filth. They are insecure and pray on people in their weakest. Oh yes they do. And most importantly, Rhy & Drew get along famously with people of high integrity. They presume integrity UNTIL proven otherwise. it's just they feel no need to "expose" their loved ones ... there is no reason for them to publicly show who they love. Because it's private, but I assure you, their network is vast

      Have a good week
      - No Whining

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  3. I find it ridiculous after reading a post in which your husband is subject to a barrage of incoherent ramblings, you are then accused of being difficult by someone who doesn't even claim their own comment.

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    1. It's just bizarre how frequently Anon feels comfortable attacking us. One of the reasons that I cut off contact with this person was that conversations like this were becoming more frequent. Trying to logically address a person like this is incredibly stressful. I'm just grateful that my husband keeps his cool!

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  4. Jomjitre ZimmermanMarch 31, 2015 at 8:33 AM

    Love you and Drew so much, Rhy! I can only imagine how awful it is to be subject to an ignorant barrage of comments, and harassment from people. I'm behind you guys 100%!

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    1. Thank you so much, JJ! What's crazy is that this anon comment was pretty tame in comparison to some of the others that we've gotten, but still it's hurtful. Our son died and the people that want us to cover up his death presume to tell us how we're supposed to mourn him? I think not.

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  5. They "get on" just fine with their REAL FRIENDS!! I love how people grow a pair when they can hide behind anonymity. Anon you KNOW NOTHING. Go crawl back into the hole from whence you came!

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    1. Hell, I even get along with people I don't always agree with- however, if worst thing someone can say about me is that I don't get along with abusive, incoherent people who have repeatedly harassed my family about us advocating for our son and for other intended parents--- I guess I'll live with that. Especially because I have so many amazing friends who truly know us.

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  6. I am proud to call Rhy and Drew my friends. Its a sad day when grieving parents are constantly having to defend themselves against the stupidity and ignorance of others. Not once have they ever posted anything that wasn't true, that wasn't backed up with facts. Not once have they been vindictive or harassing. They have simply put the truth out there and ifs that's truth hurts those who are guilty.... Then I hope they suffer in their guilt.

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    1. It means the world to me to know that we have the support and love of people who we truly respect. Thank you so very much for caring enough to comment!

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  8. I have and will continue to follow Rhy and Drew's story. Their fighting for justice for the death of their son Johnny and for justice for all of those who have been hurt by those involved in international surrogacy is truly amazing. I'm would not I have a tenth of the strength that these two show daily after losing a child especially under the circumstances that could have been prevented had proper care and regulation been provided. I think its a shame that so many people can show so much hate towards them when they are simply trying to expose those who have wronged so many people and hold those responsible for the death of their son accountable. Of course hiding behind a fictitious name hundreds of miles away I'm sure has something to do with it. I hope that justice can be found for this family (although it will never heal the pain that they have to live with everyday) and bring awareness to others who are being conned by those looking to just make money. If even one couple, one child is spared the fait that Rhy and Drew have to deal with because they hear their story, then it would be worth it. Stay strong Rhy and Drew you have people supporting you and who believe in the good of your actions don't let them silence you. ((Hugs)) and much love from those who couldn't possibly begin to comprehend your pain and suffering, and may you always know some day will come.
    -Trish Ciro

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    1. Trish thank you so very, very much for your support. We have received so much love and support from the surrogacy community, I'm just so very grateful.

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  9. I honestly find Anon amusing. Clearly if one was indifferent they wouldn't feel the need to comment at all. But the ones that are affected by the true words written on the blog, now THEY would have a hard time containing their simple minds and the imbecile thoughts produced therein. So please Anon, keep commenting! I suspect the band of R&Ds supporters find your comments as entertaining as I do. It helps passing the drollest of moments, reading your pathetic booboo hurt comments. I don't know, some kinder folks might feel the slightest bit guilty allowing another fellow human being (and in your case I use this term quite loosely) to look as moronic as you do... but that isn't me. I can only hope you clicked the "notify me" button - but sigh, not sure that lobe of your brain is even firing. :( Anyway thanks for the continuing laughs - keep it coming Anon! Oh yeah - love you Rhy and Drew!

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    1. DeAnna, I actually prefer the anon who spews all caps. Who doesn't see capslock rage as the epitome in well reasoned, credible and professional dialogue?

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