As I’ve written before, client confidentiality is a fundamental part of any professional surrogacy agency, facilitator, etc… Surrogacy facilitators have access to financial information, medical information and are frequently given significant amounts of personal information by their clients.
There were many times during my relationship with Kim where she shared information with me, that in retrospect was inappropriate. I should not know about the couple who had to terminate their much wanted pregnancy at 13 weeks due to fetal abnormality, nor should I know anything about the sperm quality of several of my Facebook friends.
That’s why when I found out that Kim was sharing my information with other people I wasn’t surprised. Hurt, yes. Surprised? No. One of the first people to let me know that this was going on was Paul McDavy. Frankly, if he had been the only one and it had been an isolated issue, I probably would not be writing this post today.
Posting information (and inaccurate information at that) about our struggle to get records on my Facebook wall? Not appropriate. Sharing even more information with a prospective client? Not professional.
I confronted her about this in January:
One would have thought that this would have ended the matter. However, it's very clear now that this pattern- which was going on throughout our pregnancy and after our son died has continued.
She admits that she knew John wasn't well, although she and Bakshi repeatedly assured Drew and I that no oxygen deprivation had taken place. Additionally, she fails to share that while she offered to go to Delhi it was with the understanding that Drew and I were footing the bill.
Sharing details of our financial situation is not appropriate. Additionally, we were being told that Adiva was a good hospital, there was no oxygen deprivation and no reason to move him unless we wanted to do so for the sake of doing it. Given the information we had at time we made the decision to leave John where he was until I got there. Had we been told that Adiva was not qualified to care for him, we would have moved him, regardless of cost.
Kim had absolutely no right to share the ongoing issues we were having in terms of getting the records or my other concerns.
John died of HIE and Klebsiella pneumonia. HIE is not genetic, nor is pneumonia. HIE is caused by oxygen deprivation at birth. Secondly, the genetic issue that our six year old has is not carried on the Y chromosome, it's maternally inherited...which is why we used an egg donor. Lastly, it is absolutely unfathomable that any person calling themselves a professional would feel this kind of disclosure is appropriate.
I am also aware that Kim has also emailed clients, sharing her version of our tragedy and requesting that those clients give her positive reviews. The fact that she has recruited other "professionals" not involved with our case to help her do this is even more disturbing. While it's certainly her right to ask people for testimonials, the fact that she is continuing to share our personal, private information, despite our repeated requests that she not do so is disgusting.
