Friday, May 8, 2015

100th Post

When this blog was started, I was full of hope.   I was totally confident that I had found not just a good facilitator,  but a friend, in Kim Waters Hendrix of Complete Surrogacy Solutions.   I believed that International Fertility Centre was a clinic that I could trust not only with the lives of my children, but with the life of my surrogate.   I imagined a 100th blog entry which showed our joyful family,  complete at last.  

Mother's Day is approaching quickly and I wish I could say that I was excited.   I am happy to celebrate the relationship I have with my beautiful children.  At the same time,  I can't forget the fact that Johnny never got to feel his mother's arms around him.  He never got to hear me say, "I love you."   I never got to tell him how very much he was wanted and loved.  

While I know that Mother's Day will always be a painful and complicated day for me, I am profoundly grateful to the many people who have helped me get through the last six months.  I can honestly say I don't know how I would have managed without you.  

•Zachary, Alexander, Clarity, Quinn and Maizy, you have made me the person I am and give me a thousand reasons to get out of bed each day. 

•The US surrogacy community on Facebook has been an incredible source of support and strength.   Initially, I was very afraid of speaking out about our experience.   I was terrified that people would say that we deserved what happened to Johnny because we chose an international journey.  Instead, our family has been embraced with open arms and surrounded with support and love.    I cannot describe how grateful I am for that compassion and understanding.   

•Stephanie and Jennifer, you have listened to me rage and comforted me when I was almost incapacitated with grief.   I wish that the thing that brought us together had never happened to any of us.   However, I could not ask for stronger or more compassionate women to walk this difficult path with me.

•To Mrs. S., wherever you are, I am celebrating with my daughter this year because of you.  

•To all the IPs who could have stayed silent and allowed our family to be attacked and slandered, thank you for your courage, your integrity and your compassion.   It has meant the world.   


  1. it is wonderful that you have made it to 100 and still have so much to share with everyone. No matter what the pushback says, you guys are an inspiration.

  2. Glorified travel agents reach a new low. now agents are working with criminally chargesheeted doctors. Kaushal Kadam director of Egg donation program at Rotunda who failed to note obvious physical abuse of an egg donor programmed by her is now facing serious charges. Finally justice is on its way.
    Noting that the Bandra-based ‘Rotunda: The Center for Human Reproduction’ fertility clinic showed gross negligence in the case of 17-year-old egg donor Sushma Pandey in 2010, the Sakinaka police have named the centre’s medical director Dr Gautam Allahabadia as an accused in the supplementary chargesheet, and six others as co-accused.
    The other accused are Dr Kaushal Kadam, Dr Gauri Gupta who also conducted the surgery, anaesthetist Dr Hetal Chabria, Dr Kirit Trivedi and Dr Yogen Bhatt and agent Noorjahan Munir who signed as Pandey’s guardian on the documents.
    The chargesheet names 31 witnesses, including seven medical officers who conducted post-mortem and forensic tests on Pandey.
    In 2014, the Bombay High Court had pulled up Saki Naka police for incomplete investigation into Pandey’s death. Later, the police carried out further investigations under an assistant police commissioner.
    Egg donor death: Three anaesthetists move High Court for relief
    No record of how fertility clinic verified teen egg donor’s age: HC
    17-yr-old egg donor dead,HC questions fertility centre’s role
    According to the copy of the chargesheet in possession with The Indian Express, the centre did not verify physical fitness and mental fitness certificate of the minor girl before surgically extracting her ova. According to the Indian Council of Medical Research (ICMR) guidelines, a woman going in for egg donation must undergo medical evaluation, including complete history and physical examination, to ensure there are no health complications after donation. Additionally, no steps were taken to ensure that the identity proof submitted by Pandey was authentic. An Income Tax department report to the Sakinaka Police on January 4, 2014, confirmed that the pan-card submitted by her as an identity proof under the name ‘Sushma Dubey’ was not even registered, according to the chargesheet.
    On August 10, 2010, Pandey had succumbed to abdominal pain and was declared dead on arrival at civic-run Rajawadi hospital, two days after she donated her eggs at the centre for the third time. In the past, she had donated her ova twice, on October 22, 2009, and February 15, 2010. According to a report submitted by JJ hospital, a rise in hormonal level ‘led to shock’, causing her death.
    In her complaint, Pandey’s mother Pramila Pandey has said that she did not know that her minor daughter was an illegal egg donor. “She has never brought home any money. She was fooled into becoming a donor. Before she died, I had taken her to three different doctors to save her life. They just kept giving her injections,” Pramila alleged.
    The chargesheet observed that Pandey had a few injection marks on her body and a few other “ordinary wounds”. On August 7, 2010, she told her mother that she was heading to work at the nearby workshop, but instead went to Rot between 8.30 am and 7.30 pm
    - See more at:


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