Drew and I choose to have a "facilitator" involved not once, but twice because we knew we didn't have the ability to effectively vet and monitor a clinic on the other side of the planet. Our facilitator told us that she traveled to India frequently to check on surrogates and make that they were being well taken care of. During the entire year we were involved with her, she made trips to Thailand and Mexico. She did not travel to India during our surrogate's pregnancy. When she finally went there after one of her trips to Thailand, we were appalled to find out that it was the first time she had been since the birth of her nephews- who were almost two years old.
Prenatal care is absolutely critical to the health and safety of babies. We were assured repeatedly that our surrogate would have the absolute best care. Unfortunately, it doesn't appear that was the case.
A cursory look at our surrogate's medical records indicates that she was tested for iron deficiency on four different occasions. On three of those occasions, she tested as
anemic. Despite those test results and despite the fact that she was complaining of dizziness and fatigue, there is no evidence in the chart that this was ever treated. Anemia in pregnancy increases the risk of post-partum
hemorrhage which can be fatal. It's also dangerous to the developing
fetus and increases the risk of developmental delay.
Despite supplementation, which started when I arrived in India, Maizy was anemic at her first pediatrician appointment in the US. Our pediatrician says this is an indication of just how anemic she was at birth. Her pediatrician believes that her anemia may have contributed to her seizure. Only time will tell if she will experience developmental delay as a result. This was entirely preventable.
In the beginning of the pregnancy, our surrogate had low to normal blood pressure. However, from twenty weeks on it appears that her blood pressure rose steadily at each appointment. By the time she delivered the twins, the hospital records indicate that she had
pre-eclampsia. The chart indicates that Mrs. S was complaining of dizziness, headache and visual disturbance. Despite these clear indications, the clinic did not do a 24 hour urine collection, which would have confirmed the diagnosis. While she was observed in the hospital overnight at one point there is no indication that they did anything other than give her some fluids. Pre-clampsia is a very serious medical condition - left untreated it can result in seizures, stroke and even death. It seems that they did nothing other than record the fact that this was happening. The fact that our surrogate survived appears to be a result of luck more than anything else. When we confronted our facilitator and the doctor about this, they denied that it was a problem.
We were not the only clients who were concerned that our facilitator had not made the promised trips to India for surrogate monitoring. When these concerns were brought up to her, she became very defensive and angry and talked about how she needed to make her family a priority.
If Mrs. S was the only surrogate whose health and safety was put into jeopardy, I could understand why someone might think that our situation was an aberration. Unfortunately, I know that this is not the case. I can't speculate as to why a facilitator would continue to refer clients to a clinic where two clients in three months experienced serious complications for their surrogates and their babies. I don't want to believe that the referral fees are what motivated her, perhaps she genuinely believes that this care was appropriate.
We wanted an independent facilitator because we wanted someone to advocate not only for our family, but also for our surrogate. Our facilitator and our doctor likely feel very differently about our journey than we do. Regardless of how anyone feels the facts are this:
•My surrogate had more than one health condition that was not managed appropriately
•My daughter has ongoing health issues directly related to those issues, her prematurity and the facility where she was born.
•My son died.
As an aside, another surrogacy facilitator, not the one we used, threatened to take legal action against me because she didn't like what I've said on this blog. For the record, nothing I have said here constitutes libel or slander.
She also told me "Your blog does NOT paint you in a positive light."
My child died. The last thing on my mind is what other people think of me. Lastly- bullying a grieving mother says a hell of a lot more about you than it does her.
